The following was originally published in The SHPiEL, a bi-weekly student-run Jewish newspaper out of the University of Florida.

Man, You Talk to Much!
Thinking Outside the Lox
With Rabbi Yonah

Jews like to talk. We like to make ourselves heard even when others don?t want to listen. That?s just the nature of being Jewish, but also the nature of being human. In the Torah it?s written (Genesis, 2:7) that humans are created with a ?living soul.? The major commentator, Onkelos, translates that to mean we have a ?speaking soul.? The Talmud goes on to say our power of speech has the ability to build and destroy worlds, give and take life from others.

It is definitely strange to assign so much power to just talking. When we think someone is full of it, we tell them, ?You?re all talk?, i.e., no substance. While it is true that in many interactions talk is cheap, there?s another angle to understanding the words that come out of our mouths. Judaism tells us that our words create realities. Upon closer examination, much of Judaism is ?articulated.? In fact, there are many religious observances that are not fulfilled unless they are audible, at the very least, to yourself. A prime example of this is prayer. During the silent prayer of Shmonei Esrei (18 Benedictions), you must be able to hear yourself whisper the words or it is considered as if you didn?t say anything at all. Well, because you didn?t. In this way and many others, Judaism is always telling us to ?Speak up!?

Now that we know words can rock this world, there are ramifications to think about. It is a good idea to watch what you say about other people. Speaking ill of others, aside from its being just not cool morally and ethically, leaves the communities we function in with a terrible hangover. Tradition tells of three people who get wounded when speaking badly of others. Rabbi Shmuel bar Nachman of the Talmud said that speaking ill (lashon hara: literally ?bad tongue? in Hebrew) of another slays three people all at the same time: the speaker, the listener and the one who is being spoken of. Real stuff, be careful.

Another dimension of being misguided in our speech? equally damaging? is speaking poorly about ourselves. We often can be our own worst critic, jabbing ourselves with comments like, ?I suck at that,? ?I am such an idiot,? or ?I am such a bonehead for not calling my mom on her birthday!? While you may suck or very well be a complete bonehead, it?s best not to articulate these things. Who knows, you may even stop thinking them. Give yourself a break, there are enough people out there speaking plenty of lashon hara about you, there is no need for you to diss yourself as well. When we verbally get down on ourselves, even with subtleties, we create a culture where expectations are lowered. Not only do we come to expect less of ourselves, but so do our ?listeners? as well.

So be conscious of what is coming out of your mouth. Rebbe Nachman of Breslov (Eighteenth century, Ukraine) commented that it would be amazing, if he spoke just one true word his whole life. In general, our speaking mode is one of spewing, sort of an uncontrollable ooze or perhaps a chronic leak. There are many Jewish practices that can aid in coming to grips with what we say. The most powerful may be what is called a tannit dibur, or a ?fasting of speech.? When we stop talking for a period of time (I would recommend no more than a day) we have the opportunity to notice how much of our time is involved in speech and the quality of that speech. So even if you?re a complete bonehead, by refraining from talking at the very least you?ll begin to see why (always a good first step). But more likely, with a little more silence, you may find you can define yourself however you would like and that the words you speak are a powerful tool in the process of being you.